Parental units are a pain in my a-double-s.

My latest encounter with the crying baby side of me has come to the conclusion that as much as we love them, our parents have pretty much completely screwed us over by the time we turn seventeen. Legit. I mean, I know parents are all importante to our development and they help us not be wild crazy jungle people or whatever, and they are totally there to like pay for your cell phone and shit like that. I mean, yeah, we need them. We can't support ourselves until we graduate (I mean, we could, but its not preferable). But sometimes, I wish they'd just like shut up already. I'm so tired of my parents treating me like a five year old who dribbles ice cream on her sweater and then cries about it for two days afterwards unless a new Polly Pocket is produced to distract my tiny little attention span. Uh, yeah, mom, I know not to run off with the creepy creeper down the street when he offers me some odd smelling "candy." I'm not an idiot. I knew that people were out to get me in first grade when my so-called BFF called me out for liking the cute boy in our class in front of everyone and having him announce to my face that  Ew, Carly is gross, I do not like her. (Have I ever mentioned how much I hate people?)

It's weird to think that my parents do anything else besides be my mom and dad. Like, when they have shitty relationship issues, I'm like woah, dudes, whatthefuck, you guys are my parents, all you have to do in life is buy me Chipotle and that's it, there's no need for the mushy gushy touchy feely you-hurt-my-feelings shit. And I cannot stand it when my parents get so mad at each other and one of them leaves when I need their debit card because I need some China Wok chicken fried rice. Parents' problems are way too whamma-lamma-ding-dong for me to handle and I just wished they'd fucking shut up already.