Stop fucking staring at me.

I feel like a goldfish in a bowl with everyone staring at me. Really, people? Do you really have to stop in the middle of the fucking parking lot of the Teet and stare at me as I drive by, minding my own fucking business in my piece of shit car? Take a fucking picture already. Yeah, bitches, I kissed him. Sorry you're so jealous. Too bad that shit went down like six fucking months ago and I'm suh-ooohhh over it.

How come when spring comes around, everyone goes insane? WHY?? When I walk around the hallways of school I feel like I'm walking through a fucking porn movie with all the swapping of saliva I witness. It's so trashy. Like, seriously? Can't you do that when your parents aren't home later on after school? I really don't want to see you get an STD right here in the Foreign Language department. Thanks.

Prom should be fucking fun. SIKE. Everything was so much easier last year, I had a set date and group and whatever. Now its like I have to sit around and wait for some douchebag manwhore to ask me last minute, then turn him down at the end of the night when he introduces me to the Motel 8 down the road, and then I have to deal with all these bitches the next week at school asking me what happened when we dissappeared, because they heard he left me at the motel after turning me down because you know Mr Douchealicious can't ruin his reputation with some girl turning him down, and it's not like we all didn't know you just wanted to get laid anyways, Carly. What the fuck? There are so many expectations and dress shopping and stressing out about the new mountain of a pimple on your chin and your shoes making you taller than your date and blah blah blah. Like I really just want to have a good time, and hopefully that includes alcohol (sorry mom).

And they better play Lady Gaga. I'm gunna be really puh-issed off if the only play the same Mexican rap that they always play at homecoming. I don't even remember what they played last year, all I remember is getting there late and leaving early to go chill at my date's house and watch Tila Tequila's lesbian/bi/whatever dating show. I wish I had her boobs. Actually, I wish I had boobs period. My mysquito bites make it difficult to find a dress that doesn't make me look like a dumbass.

And my mom is giving me a two hundred dollar max on my dress, and I'm like woah there mom, I'm not about to head down to JC Penny and get a nasty dress made out of fucking sheer plastic shit. No thank you. I need some Jovani up in here.

Whatevs, I've been looking for prom dresses all night and my eyes hurt like a bitch now, but I totally about to play the Nancy Drew games my friend let me borrow. They're so fucking kickass.

Shit, my phone is about to die. I don't even know where my charger is. Oh well.

Peace & love, bitches.

xoxo,
carly rae